Why is Selling Yourself Sooo Difficult?

Just had a good chat with another community leader about life, the Universe and everything.

Part of that conversation explored why we find it so difficult to sell ourselves, while being really very good at selling others… that got me thinking, I’ve really got to go large and get the 2nd Edition of the Windsor Directory of Community Groups & Charities funded by communicating the value 😉 (see what Gemini had to say on the matter below).

The 2nd Edition will be circa 150 pages, good weight of paper, A5 with a “velvet” cover. It’ll be fabulous darling and how many we get published, from 500 up to 2,500 copies, will depend on our sponsors.

Register your level of interest below:

• Centre spread £3,000
• Back page £2,000
• Inside back cover £1,500
• Inside left centre spread £1,000
• Inside right centre spread £1,000

We’ll be looking for key sponsors over the next 3 months and also taking donations via PayPal account. At the end of August we’ll review our position and make a decision on the number of copies we’ll produce and distribute freely to Windsor residents.

Thank you.

Jon Davey
Community Champion
I Love Windsor CIC
07717 820823

Why is Selling Yourself So Difficult?

Selling yourself, whether in a job interview, a networking event, or when pitching your business, can feel incredibly difficult for several reasons:

1. It feels personal and exposes your self-worth:

• Fear of rejection: When you’re selling a product, rejection is about the product. When you’re selling yourself, it feels like a personal rejection of your value and capabilities. This can be deeply unsettling and trigger fears of criticism or being perceived as boastful.
• Imposter Syndrome: Many people struggle with feeling like their achievements aren’t truly special, or that they aren’t as qualified as others perceive them to be. This “imposter syndrome” makes it hard to confidently articulate your strengths and accomplishments.
• Negative connotations of “selling”: The word “selling” itself can have negative associations (e.g., being pushy, dishonest, or superficial). This can make people uncomfortable with the idea of promoting themselves.

2. Focus often shifts to “you” instead of the “client” or “employer”:

• Self-consciousness: When you feel you need to “sell yourself,” the focus turns inward. You might worry about how you look, what you’re saying, or if people will like you. This self-consciousness can make you less authentic and less able to connect with the other person.
• Missing the client’s needs: Instead of focusing on how you can solve their problems or add value, you might get caught up in trying to impress them with your own attributes. Clients aren’t necessarily buying “you” as a person; they’re buying the results, transformation, or solution you can provide.

3. Difficulty in articulating value objectively:

• Lack of self-awareness: It can be challenging to objectively identify and articulate your unique skills, strengths, and experiences. What seems obvious to you might not be clear to someone else.
• Struggling with self-promotion: Many people find it awkward or wrong to talk about their own achievements. They might worry about sounding arrogant.

4. Pressure and nerves:

• Blanking out: High-pressure situations like interviews can cause your mind to go blank, making it hard to recall examples or effectively frame your experiences.
• Authenticity vs. perceived expectation: It can feel inauthentic to “perform” in a way you think is expected, leading to a sense of fakeness that makes you uncomfortable.

How to make it easier:

The key often lies in shifting your mindset from “selling myself” to “communicating value” or “problem-solving”:

• Focus on the other person’s needs: Understand their pain points, desires, and what they are trying to achieve. Frame your skills and experiences in terms of how you can help them.
• Think of yourself as a “product”: Just as you’d highlight the features and benefits of a product, create a clear understanding of your own skills, experiences, and achievements, and the specific value you bring.
• Prepare and practice: Have specific examples of past successes (using the STAR method: Situation, Task, Action, Result) ready to demonstrate your abilities. Practice articulating your strengths so it feels more natural.
• Build confidence: Recognize your accomplishments and build a strong sense of your own value. Remember that everyone, to some degree, needs to communicate their value.
• Be authentic: While you want to present your best self, strive to be genuine. People are more likely to respond positively to authenticity.
• Seek feedback: Ask trusted friends, colleagues, or mentors to help you identify your strengths and how to best communicate them.

By focusing on the value you provide and approaching it with a problem-solving mindset, you can move away from the uncomfortable feeling of “selling yourself” and instead present yourself as a valuable asset.